Surgery

I know that there is a reason for everything.  The problem that I have is the fact that I am struggling understanding why, when I have been so healthy, I am now being hit with so many different health problems.  I understand that most of the problems have to do with my weight.  The question that I have, is how to lose all of this extra weight.

I hate being bigger, and I wish that there was something that I can do about it and finally lose the weight and get back to a normal size.  I hope and pray to keep strong during this process.  I know that one of the biggest virtues that I am lacking is patience.  I see that with my children, I see that with my husband, and I see it in the hundreds of failed attempts to lose weight.  I get frustrated by the lack of results, and basically start to give up.

Here is a picture of me from my honey moon almost 7 years ago!

Yes I thought that I was fat, but looking at this picture, I looked good.

Here is a picture of me from New Years Day this year

Other than the hair color there is a big difference, over 100 lb difference.  I need to do something about this, but every year so far I have said that I am going to do something about it, and end up gaining more weight.  How is 2009 going to be different?

I know that one of the ways is the fact that I will have these surgeries that I know will help.  I am also working on setting up some good habits, that hopefully will become life long habits.  

I want to lose the weight, but I have wanted that in the past.  I want to feel good, and again I have wanted that in the past.  How can I change everything and become my old size again?