The one thing I like is that we are offered a new beginning. In the church, the first Sunday of Advent is a new year for the church. We are starting our process of waiting, of starting over. This is so important because one of the virtues that is often forgotten in this day and age is the ability to wait.
Technology is getting faster. We are having more and more at our fingertips. Children are starting to demand that they get what they want now. But is is not only children, adults are not happy when they can not get what they want immediately. Learning to be patient, and wait is one of the hardest virtue to learn.
With the beginning of advent we are blessed with so many different things. First we are blessed with a new, fresh start. That is why going to confession, is a perfect start to this new year. We are starting new in the church, and starting new as a person is important. God has give us the ability to start new. Every time we receive the grace from confession, the feeling of everything we have done lifted off our shoulders, we are given the opportunity to start new. Each year on December 31 we all set New Years Resolutions. A way to guide us through the new year, and help us to improve our lives. This is the same with the start of advent, we can use this time to set our course for the next year, and use it as a way to live a life that God wants us to live.
One of the lessons to learn during Advent is waiting. This is not easy. Look all around us, you have so much information at your fingertips. If you want something, you purchase it. If you don't have the money to purchase it, then use credit. It is not often, if at all we have to wait for anything. And in the rare instances that you do have to wait, it is usually painful, and overcoming of our spirit. Learning how to wait. Taking time away and seeing the blessing that comes with learning, and waiting is a great way to open our heart and soul to Jesus.
One of the most difficult lessons that we need to learn is how to live our lives to model God. One of the ways to learn this is through learning how to wait. To not want something instantly, but to see that sometimes, waiting is the best option.
My prayer in this Advent season is to learn to wait. To understand that things do not have to be instant, but through the power of waiting I will come to see Jesus more fully, and learn to lead a life that God has planned for me
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
What is Beauty?
Your beauty should come from within you-
the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit
that will never be destroyed and is very precious to GOD
1 Peter 3:4
From all around, we see beauty. You can not turn on your computer, watch the television, read a newspaper or even look at a billboard sign along the road with out seeing the expectations that society has placed on women. It is so easy to see that around us we have expectations to meet up to.
As a child you see these images and it starts to leave an impression on you. Young girls are expected to measure up to these standards. Staying very skinny. Trying to wear makeup as early as possible. Wearing the most up to date, trendy clothes. There is pressure all around to be perfect.
Growing into the pre-teen years is no different. The expectations grow higher. Getting ready for school becomes very important. Making sure your hair is just right and your clothes are perfect. Finding ways to sneak a little foundation or blush on your face is important. You start to really think about body image. Many questions start to run through your head. Wondering if you are skinny enough, or if you are too fat. Wondering when you breasts are going to develop. If boys don't start taking notice of you, you start to panic and want to know what you can do to look prettier.
The pressures on a teenage girl are unbelievable. You want to look perfect every day. At lunch time the idea of eating anything, is scary, you don't want anyone to see you eat, they may think you are fat, or that you are going to be fat. Any comment that you hear while you walk down the hallway will adjust to how you see yourself. If you were never asked out, then slowly your self confidence will start to get smaller and smaller. All of these things put together are a lot of pressure.
Even as an adult, it is no difference. Being perfect, looking perfect will consume you. Comments from strangers can break your heart and stick with you for a lifetime. You wonder what others think of you and how people perceive you. The same feelings you had as a child, and growing up never really go away. And many of the experiences you had, especially the negative ones, will stick with you, and help guide the choices you make.
The one thing that can break this, is to remember that no matter what happens, you are a child of God. God made you special, and sees you as beautiful. By taking care of yourself, and remembering that you are beautiful, the world will be put into place.
The one thing that we each have to remember is that beauty on the outside over time will fade, the beauty that will remain is the beauty in your heart. That is true beauty. Just because someone has perfect skin, features, is the perfect size does not mean that they are beautiful. If they do not have a beautiful heart than they have nothing.
The key to beauty is to take care of yourself. Eat right, exercise, shower and take care of your skin. If you can do that, then you are going to just show what beauty that God gave you, and you will see just how beautiful you truly are.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Who Is In Charge?
There is no authority except from God,
and the authroities that exsist are
appointed by God.
Romans 13:1
When it comes to having children, one of the very first battles every new parent faces is discipline. Children crave the discipline, however they want to test there boundaries.
Every year I am learning more and more about children testing their boundaries, as my children are doing this on a daily basis. They want to see just how far they can push the boundaries, and what else they can do.
While it is easy to believe that they are doing this just to make me angry, they are learning and growing. By standing firm in the decisions that are made, I am teaching my children just how important the rules are.
By starting off with rules at home, it becomes much easier for them to follow rules at school, and through out their lives. As we grow there are new rules. We start school and have rules. We get our first job, and again there are rules there.
God gives us the authority to set rules for our children and help them to learn how to follow the rules. These include the rules that have been handed down by God to us.
Learning to follow the rules is the most important lesson that we can learn in life.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Learning To Deal
This past weekend I had an experience that I never thought I would have. My DH and I traveled to Toledo to visit his grandmother who is in Hospice. Walking in the doors, I was amazed how calming the building felt. The walls were beautiful. The paintings on the walls were perfect. As we walked down to her room, you felt a calmness.
Walking in for the first time, looking around and seeing everything was eye opening. For me watching her lay there in pain, not able to rest was so difficult. I did the only thing that I felt I could do, sit and hold her hand and start quietly in my head saying prayers. I moved from the Lord's Prayer and then on to the Hail Mary.
In between these prayers that I have been taught, I just asked for Jesus to be with her, to guide her and to help her during these times. I though of my favorite prayer, Footprints, and praying during this difficult time before death, that Jesus was carrying Grandma, helping her through the end of her suffering.
I had comfort when the nurses and the STNA's said that everything that was happening was all normal and part of the stages of death. It was a comfort, but still not easy to watch. I wanted to take her pain and let her be peaceful.
We are still waiting as of today, waiting to hear what was going to happen next. I pray for her to be comfortable, and that she is able to be welcomed into the glory of heaven. While I know that we will miss her and mourn for her, I will be comforted knowing that she is in the promised land with Jesus.
Walking in for the first time, looking around and seeing everything was eye opening. For me watching her lay there in pain, not able to rest was so difficult. I did the only thing that I felt I could do, sit and hold her hand and start quietly in my head saying prayers. I moved from the Lord's Prayer and then on to the Hail Mary.
In between these prayers that I have been taught, I just asked for Jesus to be with her, to guide her and to help her during these times. I though of my favorite prayer, Footprints, and praying during this difficult time before death, that Jesus was carrying Grandma, helping her through the end of her suffering.
I had comfort when the nurses and the STNA's said that everything that was happening was all normal and part of the stages of death. It was a comfort, but still not easy to watch. I wanted to take her pain and let her be peaceful.
We are still waiting as of today, waiting to hear what was going to happen next. I pray for her to be comfortable, and that she is able to be welcomed into the glory of heaven. While I know that we will miss her and mourn for her, I will be comforted knowing that she is in the promised land with Jesus.
Friday, August 28, 2009
What's On Your Mind
Think about the things that are good and worthy of praise
Think about the things that are true and honorable
and right and pure and beautiful and respected.
Philippians 4:8
It is often very hard to be positive when others around you are being very negative. Negativity grows quickly and spreads like wild fire from person to person. Once you start feeling or being negative it often will consume your day, your thoughts and your actions.
Being positive, and loving is not so easily spread, it takes more time. If you are feeling negative, or down, having loving and positive feelings overcome the negative feelings takes time and work. The same is true with violence and anger, once you are over come with these feelings, finding happiness is not easily done.
That is why television is so powerful. Violent shows can influence how other feel. As a character takes on a feeling of being afraid or scared it is easy for the viewing audience to take on those feelings and start to own them. When a character is angry it is easy to take the anger and allow it to overcome your life.
That is why it is important to know what we are thinking about and what we allow ourselves to be influenced by. If we want the love of God to enter into our hearts, then we have to open them to him, and block the feelings of anger, hurt, sadness and other negative feelings that are around us.
When we want to grow in love, we have to be open to see all of the good and the positive that God has put into our lives and in our path. Once we can do that we are truly opening our minds, hearts and souls to becoming vessels for God.
Learning how to do this is not easy, however it is important to remember that as humans we are easily influenced with what is around us. That is why choosing friends and choosing televisions shows to watch is so important. Choosing wisely is the best way to open your hear to Jesus.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Angels Watching Over Me
He has put his angels in charge of you
to watch over you wherever you go.
They will catch you in their hands so that
you will not hit your food on a rock.
Psalm 91:11-12
I have noticed that lately I have been struggling, mainly because there are many times that I feel completely alone. Being alone is a scary thought. For me when I am left to myself I often find that being alone also means that my thoughts start to run away from me.
Often times when I have a few minutes of quiet in my life I find that this quiet will be quickly filled with the thoughts that are racing through my head. Having thoughts that start racing through my head confuses and often times changes my mood.
For me it is easy to read into the thoughts that go through my head. They quickly take me from being in a good mood to being in a bad mood. This is a feeling that is not good. Knowing that something simple can have such an effect on me. And this will lead me to believe that I am alone.
Thinking about Psalm 91 is a great reminder that we are never truly alone. That we always have an Angel with us. They are there to guide us. When we are feeling alone, or our thoughts and worries get the best of us it is time to stop and consider changing directions.
In those times why not take a step back and remember that we should trust in God and all that he has for us. Trust that our Angel that is watching over us will help guide us through the rough times, and comfort us when we need to be comforted.
God never wants us to feel alone. He always wants us know that he is here for us and that he loves us. We know that with God we have the ability to achieve our goals. He will assist us in finding the tools, hold our hands when we fail, and help us get back up and try it again.
The next time I feel alone, I am going to remember that I am never alone. That I always have an Angel that God has sent to watch over me and guide me. When I have too much on my mind, I am going to lift it up and have faith that everything will work out, just as God has planned
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
You Are Accepted!
The Lord your God in your midst,
the Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
he will rejoice over you with singing.
the Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
he will rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17
As a Human we are all looking to be accepted. As a mother we often lose our identity in what we do. I know that I have found as a Stay At Home Mother I often feel I lose myself in what I do during the day. I see my self as Tyler & Nathan's mother. A pet owner of Brutis the dog, Simba the cat and Fluffy the hamster. A wife of Brian. A Daughter of Karen and Gary. These are not bad things, just realities. And these are not bad realities.
Every day I wear many hats, and every mother out there knows of the different hats we are required to wear every day. Any given day I am a mother, doctor, chef, nanny, judge, driver, wife, maid, mediator, supporter, friend, sister, aunt, granddaughter, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, and so much more. With all that we do on a daily basis it is easy to forget to just be ourselves.
Getting lost in all of our responsibilities is easily done, and feeling that we are accepted for who we are is just as difficult. That is why it is so important to remember one thing, that we are loved and accepted for who we are, and nothing more. God loves us, the core of us. He expects nothing of us, except for being ourselves.
So often we feel we have to be something we are not to be accepted, but God accepts us and loves us for who we are. We don't have to pretend, we don't have to do anything more than be out selves and he loves us, and always has. Even with any of the negative things we have done. Even when we have turned away from him, he still loves and accepts us.
So the next time you are down, or just have a bad day. The next time you feel that you have nowhere to turn or that you are alone. When you feel the world is against you, it is important to remember you have one, very important person who just accepts you, for all of your flaws, in all of your hard time, and that is God!
Remember that God accepts and deeply loves you, just as you are right at this very moment! When you are insecure and scared, remember this and feel secure in the love God has for you!
As a Human we are all looking to be accepted. As a mother we often lose our identity in what we do. I know that I have found as a Stay At Home Mother I often feel I lose myself in what I do during the day. I see my self as Tyler & Nathan's mother. A pet owner of Brutis the dog, Simba the cat and Fluffy the hamster. A wife of Brian. A Daughter of Karen and Gary. These are not bad things, just realities. And these are not bad realities.
Every day I wear many hats, and every mother out there knows of the different hats we are required to wear every day. Any given day I am a mother, doctor, chef, nanny, judge, driver, wife, maid, mediator, supporter, friend, sister, aunt, granddaughter, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, and so much more. With all that we do on a daily basis it is easy to forget to just be ourselves.
Getting lost in all of our responsibilities is easily done, and feeling that we are accepted for who we are is just as difficult. That is why it is so important to remember one thing, that we are loved and accepted for who we are, and nothing more. God loves us, the core of us. He expects nothing of us, except for being ourselves.
So often we feel we have to be something we are not to be accepted, but God accepts us and loves us for who we are. We don't have to pretend, we don't have to do anything more than be out selves and he loves us, and always has. Even with any of the negative things we have done. Even when we have turned away from him, he still loves and accepts us.
So the next time you are down, or just have a bad day. The next time you feel that you have nowhere to turn or that you are alone. When you feel the world is against you, it is important to remember you have one, very important person who just accepts you, for all of your flaws, in all of your hard time, and that is God!
Remember that God accepts and deeply loves you, just as you are right at this very moment! When you are insecure and scared, remember this and feel secure in the love God has for you!
Monday, August 24, 2009
How Much Is Too Much
Those who trust in riches will be ruined, but a good person will be healthy like a green leaf
Proverbs 11:28
As a mother we want to give everything to our children. I have found in my life that giving everything to my children is more technology and possession based. It is amazing how quickly we come to rely on possessions for just about everything.
I know that I am guilty of this. It seems that I get one thing and want more and more. Nothing seems to satisfy me, or make me feel as if I have achieved my goals. I see something new advertised and I want it. I feel a need driven to have it.
When I am able to get this object that I want to so bad it feels great at first, but that feeling is a novelty that wears off. To feel good I need to purchase more and more. This is not a good feeling at all. It leave me feeling empty when all is said and done.
Learning not to trust in the possessions that are around us is one of the hardest lessons that one can learn. This is a lesson that, once it is learned so many wonderful feelings and emotions fill your heart. Learning that you do not need to purchase things, but to rely on what you have and the wonders that God give you is one of the important jobs we can do.
As a mother this is one of the lessons that not only do I need to learn for myself but I also want to learn so I can pass it along to my children. Having my children learn how to trust to God for happiness will be the best and most important lesson as a mother I can teach them.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Being thankful for the little things
This past weekend My DH and DS1 went out of town to visit my MIL and FIL, so I had the house to myself with DS2. It was a wonderful weekend to spend one on one time with him. Having the time or the ability to spend one on one time with DS2 is often difficult because he is quiet and like to play by himself where DS1 is always up in my face and talking to me and getting my attention.
It was so nice to concentrate on one child and remember what it was like. Looking back I used to think that it was difficult to do anything with one child. Now I see that I was wrong. With only one child I was easily able to clean my house, and do my laundry. The entire weekend, other than the toys he was playing with my house was clean.
I am so happy that DH and DS1 are home, but I have to admit that they came home and I feel I am back at square one with cleaning and getting my house back in shape. It is a hard feeling, because I have some cleaning I do on a daily basis but I just have the added stress of unpacking and organizing everything that they had taken with them.
At first I was put off by this thought that I am going to have to start over. But then I realize that it is not going to be bad. The key is first to getting organized and second to know that everything will be ok. These little things that seem to get me down, are part of my job. These little things are important because they are helping my family. I am going to start changing the way I am thinking.
My goal is when live gets me down, and when I feel that I am overwhelmed by the little tasks that I need to do on a daily basis, to stop and pray. First to be thankful that I have these little tasks to do. Second pray that through these tasks my eyes will be open to all of the things that God has in store for me.
It is important to remember that God has little tasks for you to do everyday. Some of these tasks can be frustrating, but knowing that they are important is a good thing. Some of the tasks can be tasks that you don't like, but taking the time to thank God for the ability to do these things will make them so much easier.
It was so nice to concentrate on one child and remember what it was like. Looking back I used to think that it was difficult to do anything with one child. Now I see that I was wrong. With only one child I was easily able to clean my house, and do my laundry. The entire weekend, other than the toys he was playing with my house was clean.
I am so happy that DH and DS1 are home, but I have to admit that they came home and I feel I am back at square one with cleaning and getting my house back in shape. It is a hard feeling, because I have some cleaning I do on a daily basis but I just have the added stress of unpacking and organizing everything that they had taken with them.
At first I was put off by this thought that I am going to have to start over. But then I realize that it is not going to be bad. The key is first to getting organized and second to know that everything will be ok. These little things that seem to get me down, are part of my job. These little things are important because they are helping my family. I am going to start changing the way I am thinking.
My goal is when live gets me down, and when I feel that I am overwhelmed by the little tasks that I need to do on a daily basis, to stop and pray. First to be thankful that I have these little tasks to do. Second pray that through these tasks my eyes will be open to all of the things that God has in store for me.
It is important to remember that God has little tasks for you to do everyday. Some of these tasks can be frustrating, but knowing that they are important is a good thing. Some of the tasks can be tasks that you don't like, but taking the time to thank God for the ability to do these things will make them so much easier.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Choosing the way to live your life
Over the past couple months I have looked at the way I have lived my life. The one thing that I have seen is that I am just not happy. I have noticed that the best time in my life and the times that I am the most confident is when I have lived my life in a way that I live out my faith.
I have noticed that I, like Peter have denied Jesus in my faith many times. Not necessarily in my words, but more my actions. By missing mass, or doing things to become part of the in crowd, even though there is a gut feeling that it is just not the road I should be taking.
It is difficult to think that this is the way that I want to live my life. The hardest times, the times of hardship and the times of doubt. The times of pain are the times that I have not lived in a manor that I see fitting, a manor that I find to fit within my faith.
In the past I have felt that people would judge me and people would not want to get to know me because of my faith. I have chosen the road that is highly traveled. The road that would, in my opinion, win me friends. The problem with this road is the fact that it is a road that leads to hurt and leads to pain. It is a road that does not allow me to truly and fully be myself.
I have hidden my faith and pushed back that part of me with the fear that people would see it and hate me, or judge me. I would make decisions that was against my faith because I felt that it would be better for people to see me that way.
Now looking back I feel that those decisions made people doubt me. It made my actions look fake and made people question me and what I was saying and what I was doing. It made me look like a person that could not be trusted, and instead of making friends, it caused me to lose friends.
Now I want to embrace my faith, and the fact that God will allow me to do this is amazing. I can go to confession and talk to a priest and know that I am forgiven, for I am truly sorry, and know that God still loves me and will guide me to living the live that I am meant to live.
I know that this is a life that will be hard, but I know that by making my decisions based on my faith and my love of Jesus will help me to make decisions to change my life, and help me to feel confident that I am going to be happy.
I know that I can not change the past, but I have learned a awesome lesson, a lesson that will help me to change my life and live it the way that I want to live my life. I can live my life in a way that I can make the best decisions that will change me and help me to grow in faith.
This is not the easiest change to make, but it is a change that will help me to be confident that I will find Jesus. I feel confident that people will look at me and know that I am who I say I am and that My faith is so important to me
I have noticed that I, like Peter have denied Jesus in my faith many times. Not necessarily in my words, but more my actions. By missing mass, or doing things to become part of the in crowd, even though there is a gut feeling that it is just not the road I should be taking.
It is difficult to think that this is the way that I want to live my life. The hardest times, the times of hardship and the times of doubt. The times of pain are the times that I have not lived in a manor that I see fitting, a manor that I find to fit within my faith.
In the past I have felt that people would judge me and people would not want to get to know me because of my faith. I have chosen the road that is highly traveled. The road that would, in my opinion, win me friends. The problem with this road is the fact that it is a road that leads to hurt and leads to pain. It is a road that does not allow me to truly and fully be myself.
I have hidden my faith and pushed back that part of me with the fear that people would see it and hate me, or judge me. I would make decisions that was against my faith because I felt that it would be better for people to see me that way.
Now looking back I feel that those decisions made people doubt me. It made my actions look fake and made people question me and what I was saying and what I was doing. It made me look like a person that could not be trusted, and instead of making friends, it caused me to lose friends.
Now I want to embrace my faith, and the fact that God will allow me to do this is amazing. I can go to confession and talk to a priest and know that I am forgiven, for I am truly sorry, and know that God still loves me and will guide me to living the live that I am meant to live.
I know that this is a life that will be hard, but I know that by making my decisions based on my faith and my love of Jesus will help me to make decisions to change my life, and help me to feel confident that I am going to be happy.
I know that I can not change the past, but I have learned a awesome lesson, a lesson that will help me to change my life and live it the way that I want to live my life. I can live my life in a way that I can make the best decisions that will change me and help me to grow in faith.
This is not the easiest change to make, but it is a change that will help me to be confident that I will find Jesus. I feel confident that people will look at me and know that I am who I say I am and that My faith is so important to me
My Prayer Today
Today Lord I Pray for
My eyes to be open to see your great work
My ears to be ready to listen to your quiet whispers
My mouth to speak only words that will reflect my love of you
My heart to love all that you have given me in my life
My hands to be ready to do your will
My soul to be child-like to trust that you are with me today.
Amen
Monday, July 20, 2009
Trusting the Vine of God
Yesterday while at mass I heard one of the most inspirational and moving sermons that I have ever heard. This one was one that reached out and touched my heart, and was one that I can relate to all aspects of my life, and all goes back to having faith in God.
I have always had faith in God, the problem that I have had was to be brave enough to share it with everyone. The biggest fear that I have is the fear of being judged. I also have had the issue of not always living my life in a way that God could be shown through, or even that I could be proud of.
A trip to Tennessee had shown me how God can change my life. Seeing the work that he had done in a friend was the first important step I needed. When you see someone on a different level and see the little seeds you know that God is at work.
Then it all came together yesterday at mass. The parable came up of a woman walking through the woods and she hears a growl coming from behind her, so she turns around and finds Tigers. She runs but finds herself at the edge of a cliff. When she looks down she sees a vine, and starts to climb down. As she is climbing she hears a growl from underneath her. When she looks down she sees another pack of tigers. She stops where she is but then starts hearing little scratching sounds from above and sees mice gnawing at the vine. Faced with all of this she looks around and finds wild strawberries around her and chooses to take the moment to enjoy a strawberry.
I find myself in this situation so many times. I have tried to scramble and throw strawberries up, or down. Tried to scare the mice. While it may work for a few minutes, the tigers and the mice always come back. I have failed to do the one thing that is so important... trust in the vine. I need to take the step back and learn how to trust in the vine and know that the strength of the vine is the strength that I need to live my life.
Once you learn to trust in the vine that is when you will find the strawberries, and that the strawberries become more and more plentiful. Seeing the strawberries, and then learning how to enjoy them is the key to learning how to live a life with Jesus and how to be completely happy.
I have challenged myself to start living my life. I have challenged myself to stop trying to do what I think others want me to do. I have challenged myself to stop being the person that I was and hated, and take that little light that I loved and start living that as my life. Trusting in God, and knowing that he is there. Trusting that during the times when I feel that I am going to fall, that God will be my strength. Finding the tigers and the mice in my life and doing what I can to eliminate them if possible. Knowing that there will always be tigers and mice, but knowing that my faith is what is needed to keep me strong.
I have always had faith in God, the problem that I have had was to be brave enough to share it with everyone. The biggest fear that I have is the fear of being judged. I also have had the issue of not always living my life in a way that God could be shown through, or even that I could be proud of.
A trip to Tennessee had shown me how God can change my life. Seeing the work that he had done in a friend was the first important step I needed. When you see someone on a different level and see the little seeds you know that God is at work.
Then it all came together yesterday at mass. The parable came up of a woman walking through the woods and she hears a growl coming from behind her, so she turns around and finds Tigers. She runs but finds herself at the edge of a cliff. When she looks down she sees a vine, and starts to climb down. As she is climbing she hears a growl from underneath her. When she looks down she sees another pack of tigers. She stops where she is but then starts hearing little scratching sounds from above and sees mice gnawing at the vine. Faced with all of this she looks around and finds wild strawberries around her and chooses to take the moment to enjoy a strawberry.
I find myself in this situation so many times. I have tried to scramble and throw strawberries up, or down. Tried to scare the mice. While it may work for a few minutes, the tigers and the mice always come back. I have failed to do the one thing that is so important... trust in the vine. I need to take the step back and learn how to trust in the vine and know that the strength of the vine is the strength that I need to live my life.
Once you learn to trust in the vine that is when you will find the strawberries, and that the strawberries become more and more plentiful. Seeing the strawberries, and then learning how to enjoy them is the key to learning how to live a life with Jesus and how to be completely happy.
I have challenged myself to start living my life. I have challenged myself to stop trying to do what I think others want me to do. I have challenged myself to stop being the person that I was and hated, and take that little light that I loved and start living that as my life. Trusting in God, and knowing that he is there. Trusting that during the times when I feel that I am going to fall, that God will be my strength. Finding the tigers and the mice in my life and doing what I can to eliminate them if possible. Knowing that there will always be tigers and mice, but knowing that my faith is what is needed to keep me strong.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Morning Changes With Jury Duty
Being a mother is not easy. But being a stay at home mother I find being very difficult. I have been blessed to be selected for Jury duty, and it has been a very different for me in the morning.
My normal routine is nice. I get up at 5:15am. I get ready and go run at the gym, or do some sort of work out. Then I come home and stretch and take on my morning with my children. I take a shower after breakfast and then go play with my children. Some where in the day I find the time to not only play with my children, but plan and fix dinner, clean the house do the laundry and go to the store when neccessary.
I was then thrown a wrentch into my plan with having to get up early and do a completely different routine. I did not want to give up my morning workouts, they are the biggest and best part of my day. I start out with my work out, but get home and squeeze in some housework. Then battle getting into a shower and getting my kids out of bed.
Getting ready for Jury duty is much like having to get out of the house if you are a working mother I have found. It is not easy. I can tell that mornings can be stressful. I am so grateful that I am organized and made sure that I had everything I needed done before I went to bed. I did not have to run around and find clothes or pack a lunch.
I love having some time to myself to get some things done. It is nice to have the quiet that I am not used to, however it is boring to not have my children around. I miss playing with them and going outside. I take walks with my mother a couple of days a week, which are a wonderful way to connect with her and I have not been able to do that either.
I am also very surprised how tiring it is just sitting around all day. I get home and I just don't want to do anything. I was more tired my first day of sitting around than the days I get up work out, take my kids to the zoo and do things.
To me it is just amazing just how tired I am from just sitting around. I miss my mornings of sitting and cuddling with my children. I know that it is important to do what I am doing, and I pray that I will also get to experience the court room and a trial.
My normal routine is nice. I get up at 5:15am. I get ready and go run at the gym, or do some sort of work out. Then I come home and stretch and take on my morning with my children. I take a shower after breakfast and then go play with my children. Some where in the day I find the time to not only play with my children, but plan and fix dinner, clean the house do the laundry and go to the store when neccessary.
I was then thrown a wrentch into my plan with having to get up early and do a completely different routine. I did not want to give up my morning workouts, they are the biggest and best part of my day. I start out with my work out, but get home and squeeze in some housework. Then battle getting into a shower and getting my kids out of bed.
Getting ready for Jury duty is much like having to get out of the house if you are a working mother I have found. It is not easy. I can tell that mornings can be stressful. I am so grateful that I am organized and made sure that I had everything I needed done before I went to bed. I did not have to run around and find clothes or pack a lunch.
I love having some time to myself to get some things done. It is nice to have the quiet that I am not used to, however it is boring to not have my children around. I miss playing with them and going outside. I take walks with my mother a couple of days a week, which are a wonderful way to connect with her and I have not been able to do that either.
I am also very surprised how tiring it is just sitting around all day. I get home and I just don't want to do anything. I was more tired my first day of sitting around than the days I get up work out, take my kids to the zoo and do things.
To me it is just amazing just how tired I am from just sitting around. I miss my mornings of sitting and cuddling with my children. I know that it is important to do what I am doing, and I pray that I will also get to experience the court room and a trial.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Stressful Days
I look around me and I feel just so blessed. I have a roof over my head. Food to cook with. A wonderful family. A dog and cat. I am blessed to be able to go the gym and go work out. What more can I ask for?
I look around and see beauty everywhere and it is so wonderful. Then out of no where comes the stress.
I love my children, but I know when they are tried and those are the days when I know it is time for naps. Those are the days that my children refuse to take naps, and there it starts. The crying, the whining, the days that I want to either start drinking or just get my running shoes on.
Listening to my 4 year old say over and over my mommy does not like me because I let him know that something he wants has been taken away because of his refusal to take a nap, makes me want to cry, but I also know that I have to stay strong!
These are the days I know that I need to call upon the Lord and ask for his help. The days that I fall to my knees to start saying a Hail Mary and pray that she can help me as only a mother can. I love my children more than life itself. I also know that I need to have patience with them, especially during the days that are difficult.
I love my children, but I know when they are tried and those are the days when I know it is time for naps. Those are the days that my children refuse to take naps, and there it starts. The crying, the whining, the days that I want to either start drinking or just get my running shoes on.
Listening to my 4 year old say over and over my mommy does not like me because I let him know that something he wants has been taken away because of his refusal to take a nap, makes me want to cry, but I also know that I have to stay strong!
These are the days I know that I need to call upon the Lord and ask for his help. The days that I fall to my knees to start saying a Hail Mary and pray that she can help me as only a mother can. I love my children more than life itself. I also know that I need to have patience with them, especially during the days that are difficult.
I look at the sky and the beauty that I have found around me and use that to reach out to, knowing that I need as much help as I possibly can get so that I find the patience that is inside of me so I can be the best mother possible.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Believe it or not It will work out
The amount of emotions and feelings that I had been going through was unbelieveable. Some days were good days, others were terrible. I had days that would start out good and then turn bad, and days that would start out terrible and end up ok.
The emotions were wearing me thin. Now that I am at a place, I finally can look back at everything and see that there is a reason that everything happened. I can look back and realise that the path I was on was not the best path for me to be on, and that I needed to change directions in my life, or I would be truely unhappy.
I know that there was no worse feeling, than the feeling of being hopeless, like your entire world was going to collapse around you. I know that there were times that I wondered if I would make it through the week or even the day.
Struggling like that has made me realise that things happen, for a reason. That I now have learned how to make better decisions and know that when it comes to people and things, that you will always find out who your true friends are.
Now I know that when I start out a day or a week feeling hopeless, that sometimes the best thing to do is to stop and take a step back. That those times are the times that by taking the road less traveled and knowing that it might not be pleasant, but it is probably for the best reason in the world!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
It's Been a while
The past couple of months I have got away from everything, and I have noticed, that a few things were missing. One was the church, so my lenten promis to myself was to make church a priority again in my life. I did that. I started to go weekly. Not only that, but I am bringing my 4 year old son as well to get him into the wonderful habit of going weekly to church.
I have to admit there are times I want to give up, and I wish I would have started taking him sooner. I am glad that he joins me and that for the most part he is so good while we are there.
I have also got away from my blogs.... and I miss them. I am looking for the best way to get back into blogging, and I decided that there is no better time or day than today.
Today is going to be bitter sweet for me. My son will be "graduating" from preschool. Yes he will be going again next year, but it means that he will have finished his first year of school. Looking back I remember the weeks leading up to the first day being so scared that he would not want to go. He loved it from the first day! I came the first day for his open house, and we walked in and he asked me why I was coming in with him. He transistioned so well.
Now his school year has come to an end. He will have an ice cream social to end out the year. I am so proud of him. He is doing great with starting to write his name and everything he should be doing. I am also grateful that he has one more year of preschool... I know that this will help him so he does wonderful and grows as the next year approaches!
Tonight is his last soccer game. I am going to be sad to see the season end. I am grateful that all of the kids get trophies in this league. As they get older they sould only get the trophies when they are winners. I don't think that every person should get one. But I do have to say at the younger ages of 3 , 4, and 5 as they are learning they should have positive re-inforcement and that is what the trophy will do for them.
Today is going to be so different. My son is growing up so fast. I can remember the shy little boy who would never leave mommy's side, and now he is growing up. Playing with other kids and starting to become a little person who is slowly starting to not need his mommy any more. It is wonderful to see the confidence that I have given to him. See how he is developing his own little personality. It is also difficult to realise that every year he is going to need me less and less!
I have to admit there are times I want to give up, and I wish I would have started taking him sooner. I am glad that he joins me and that for the most part he is so good while we are there.
I have also got away from my blogs.... and I miss them. I am looking for the best way to get back into blogging, and I decided that there is no better time or day than today.
My son on the 1st Day of school
Today is going to be bitter sweet for me. My son will be "graduating" from preschool. Yes he will be going again next year, but it means that he will have finished his first year of school. Looking back I remember the weeks leading up to the first day being so scared that he would not want to go. He loved it from the first day! I came the first day for his open house, and we walked in and he asked me why I was coming in with him. He transistioned so well.
Now his school year has come to an end. He will have an ice cream social to end out the year. I am so proud of him. He is doing great with starting to write his name and everything he should be doing. I am also grateful that he has one more year of preschool... I know that this will help him so he does wonderful and grows as the next year approaches!
The red shirt was from 08. The green shirt is 09
I also started him in soccer last year. We spent almost the entire year begging him to play on the field. Most of the time when he finally got on the field he would sit and pick flowers and the grass. This year is completely different. He is participating the entire game. He only comes in for a drink when the coaches tell him to. He has even scored goals in a few games. What a difference a year makes. I am so very proud of him and everything that he has done this year. Tonight is his last soccer game. I am going to be sad to see the season end. I am grateful that all of the kids get trophies in this league. As they get older they sould only get the trophies when they are winners. I don't think that every person should get one. But I do have to say at the younger ages of 3 , 4, and 5 as they are learning they should have positive re-inforcement and that is what the trophy will do for them.
Today is going to be so different. My son is growing up so fast. I can remember the shy little boy who would never leave mommy's side, and now he is growing up. Playing with other kids and starting to become a little person who is slowly starting to not need his mommy any more. It is wonderful to see the confidence that I have given to him. See how he is developing his own little personality. It is also difficult to realise that every year he is going to need me less and less!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Prayer
Looking at myself I have chosen this Lenten season to focus my energy on prayer. I am working on adding additional time to my day to pray. Finding ways to slow down the fast pace of my life, and take the time to enjoy all of the blessings that I have around me.
I am praying for so many things, but the focus is the strength to continue to work out and change my life. This is a change that is much needed and very hard to do. While the basic end result will be losing weight and getting to a weight that I am comfortable with, I am also looking to focus on something more. I am using this focus on helping me be able to push though all of the difficult parts and times in my life, and use the power of prayer to focus on the strength that I need to achieve any goals that I have that will be difficult.
I have seen that when you are going through a tough time and turn away from God it makes everything more difficult. I have taken a different approach, and that is to do something completely different and that is to focus on prayer and turning to God when things are starting to become more difficult in my life. I have found when I take the time to focus and allow God to be there with me and help guide me something amazing happens, I find that I feel stronger and that I can make it through.
Prayer is an amazing part of my life and I have recently seen all of the most difficult tasks, when I pray become more bearable. That does not mean that they become easier, they are just more bearable for me to deal with. I have figured out for me that opening up myself, not setting expectations, and realizing that God will be there and help you, when you open up your life to prayer. This was the most difficult lesson that I had to learn!
I am taking the time to find the different ways to open my heart, mind and soul to prayer. Finding different times during the day to stop and pray. Not only during the wonderful times, but also the difficult times. I am finding ways to thank God for the wonderful gifts around me and ask God for help when the situation gets tough. Recently I am also praying for his guidance and to allow the Holy Spirit to come and help bless me with the wonderful gift of Patience. This is one gift that I need the most help with.
I have found in my life, opening up my life to prayer is one of the most difficult and yet the single most rewarding experience that I have ever had.
I am praying for so many things, but the focus is the strength to continue to work out and change my life. This is a change that is much needed and very hard to do. While the basic end result will be losing weight and getting to a weight that I am comfortable with, I am also looking to focus on something more. I am using this focus on helping me be able to push though all of the difficult parts and times in my life, and use the power of prayer to focus on the strength that I need to achieve any goals that I have that will be difficult.
I have seen that when you are going through a tough time and turn away from God it makes everything more difficult. I have taken a different approach, and that is to do something completely different and that is to focus on prayer and turning to God when things are starting to become more difficult in my life. I have found when I take the time to focus and allow God to be there with me and help guide me something amazing happens, I find that I feel stronger and that I can make it through.
Prayer is an amazing part of my life and I have recently seen all of the most difficult tasks, when I pray become more bearable. That does not mean that they become easier, they are just more bearable for me to deal with. I have figured out for me that opening up myself, not setting expectations, and realizing that God will be there and help you, when you open up your life to prayer. This was the most difficult lesson that I had to learn!
I am taking the time to find the different ways to open my heart, mind and soul to prayer. Finding different times during the day to stop and pray. Not only during the wonderful times, but also the difficult times. I am finding ways to thank God for the wonderful gifts around me and ask God for help when the situation gets tough. Recently I am also praying for his guidance and to allow the Holy Spirit to come and help bless me with the wonderful gift of Patience. This is one gift that I need the most help with.
I have found in my life, opening up my life to prayer is one of the most difficult and yet the single most rewarding experience that I have ever had.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Lent
I have been thinking about my faith alot lately. With so many big changes in my life, I have just reciently looked back and found that there has been one constant, and a constant that I have to admit that I have been ignoring, and that is God!
God has been there to hold my hand through all that I did not understand. God has been there to help me understand that things happen so that I was not making the bad choices, and help to make me strong to realise that the right choices were not the easy choices, they were the difficult choices.
With the upcoming lent I have been praying alot. As a catechist I have always taught my class that they needed to give up something for lent, or do something to improve their lives. I have seen many differnet posts about people giving up candy and Facebook and other social media for lent.
I then started to think about what I wanted to do. I could give up a food, that would be easy, however, how would that make me closer to God? I could give up Facebook, but then I realised that for that to be truely effective, I would need to replace that time that I was on the computer with something else, but what.
I have noticed through my class that so many of us take the easy way out, we refuse to challenge ourselves, and stop relying on God when things stop going our way. Those are the times that we need to stop relying on other things and start relying on God more!
That is when I decided that giving up candy or chocolate was not the right answer for me. I also realised that giving up Facebook was not the answer, but I had no clue what was the answer, until last night.
I am a catechist of a confirmation class. This is a difficult year, especially since these students are trying to grow up in so many ways, and now we are forcing them to do what we feel is right, and many of them just do it because that is what is expected, not because they want to be in the class. Every year we go to a retreat, before confirmation. At the retreat 2 high school students come to talk.
In the talk, one of the students made me realise that we have so much that we need to be thankful for. Just because we don't have the best of everything does not mean anything. She spoke of going and getting to know the homeless and feeding them, and said one thing that shocked me, they have more than we do. They have a strong beilef in God, something that so many of us who are fortunate do not have.
That is why I have decided that I am not going to give up anything for lent. This year I am going to do somethign new. I am going to start praying more. I am going to start relying on God more. I am going to start talking to God more. I always believed that he knows all so he knows what is going on in my life, but I am going to start telling him like he is a friend.
This year I am going to open my heart and my head as far as I can to talk to God and listen. I am going to pray that his spirit can help guide me in the difficult times. I am going to believe that God is there for me and is going to continue to bless me, though everything. Knowing that there are times that might be hard, but that is so that I can learn to love and rely on him more.
I am going to challenge my students to do the same thing. Giving up something for lent is great, but asking for help is better. I have decided that the one gift of the spirit that I need more is patience, and I am going to ask that God can help bless me and guide me so that I can be open to patience that he has to help me out!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Snow
So far today, I have been taking it one day at a time. It is so cold and snowy outside, it is crazy. I think that the snow is pretty for a day or two, then I am ready to have it go away. I know that it happens every year, but getting everyone sick is just rediculous. I am so sick of taking care of sick people. I just want to move somewhere warmer.
With that being said, I know that it does not mean that it is going to stop being so cold if we move anywhere, it is just something that I look at and think it could be possible, right? I know that snow is a good thing, and that there is a reason for everything. I just look at just how cold it is. How much snow we have. How I have to keep my children locked up in the house, because of the wind chill. It is not a good situation.
I am also praying for all of the little kids in my neighborhood, and all over that have to walk to school in this weather. There are not school buses because of the lack of money in the system. Therefore, they have to walk because most parents can't take them- for what ever reason- maybe because they have to work. It is so cold, that letting my dog out, I freeze. I can not imagine being a child and having to walk to school in this weather.
I have alot of elderly neighbors who do not shovel the sidewalk, so they either have to walk trough the snow which is about waste deep for a child, or they have to walk in the street which is not safe with the traffic, and the fact that the roads are not completely cleared so they have people slipping and sliding everywhere.
I know that some of the elderly in the neighborhood have had getting out to shovel. It is very high, and heavy, if they go out to shovel, which about half of them will... They are putting their lives at risk.
Snow is beautiful and so dangerous!
With that being said, I know that it does not mean that it is going to stop being so cold if we move anywhere, it is just something that I look at and think it could be possible, right? I know that snow is a good thing, and that there is a reason for everything. I just look at just how cold it is. How much snow we have. How I have to keep my children locked up in the house, because of the wind chill. It is not a good situation.
I am also praying for all of the little kids in my neighborhood, and all over that have to walk to school in this weather. There are not school buses because of the lack of money in the system. Therefore, they have to walk because most parents can't take them- for what ever reason- maybe because they have to work. It is so cold, that letting my dog out, I freeze. I can not imagine being a child and having to walk to school in this weather.
I have alot of elderly neighbors who do not shovel the sidewalk, so they either have to walk trough the snow which is about waste deep for a child, or they have to walk in the street which is not safe with the traffic, and the fact that the roads are not completely cleared so they have people slipping and sliding everywhere.
I know that some of the elderly in the neighborhood have had getting out to shovel. It is very high, and heavy, if they go out to shovel, which about half of them will... They are putting their lives at risk.
Snow is beautiful and so dangerous!
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Surgery
I know that there is a reason for everything. The problem that I have is the fact that I am struggling understanding why, when I have been so healthy, I am now being hit with so many different health problems. I understand that most of the problems have to do with my weight. The question that I have, is how to lose all of this extra weight.
I hate being bigger, and I wish that there was something that I can do about it and finally lose the weight and get back to a normal size. I hope and pray to keep strong during this process. I know that one of the biggest virtues that I am lacking is patience. I see that with my children, I see that with my husband, and I see it in the hundreds of failed attempts to lose weight. I get frustrated by the lack of results, and basically start to give up.
Here is a picture of me from my honey moon almost 7 years ago!
Yes I thought that I was fat, but looking at this picture, I looked good.
Here is a picture of me from New Years Day this year
Other than the hair color there is a big difference, over 100 lb difference. I need to do something about this, but every year so far I have said that I am going to do something about it, and end up gaining more weight. How is 2009 going to be different?
I know that one of the ways is the fact that I will have these surgeries that I know will help. I am also working on setting up some good habits, that hopefully will become life long habits.
I want to lose the weight, but I have wanted that in the past. I want to feel good, and again I have wanted that in the past. How can I change everything and become my old size again?
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Finding Yourself
I know that I need to find a way to stick up for myself with out taking away the true me. I know that is not going to be easy. I have always had people running over me and that is something that has caused me to have many difficult years.
Now it is the time to change my life. Now is the time for me to finally realize that I deserve so much more. I am a good person, and through prayer I have seen that. I deserve to be treated well, I just have to believe that I am the person that I say I am.
I know that changing my life needs to start with me. I need to start with what I am doing. I have started taking care of myself. I am exercising, and eating right. That is the first and most important step that I need to take to change my life.
The time is now to change your life, if you are not happy, what is stopping you?
Remember to reach for the moon, if you do you may just land on a star.
Monday, January 5, 2009
I need to do this
Started working out today. I am thankful that I have had the opportunity to get myself back up and running in the workout department.
I did my Jillian Michaels workout today and it was a great workout. I found a workout group on Spark People and I joined the team and started today, one day off from the rest so that is fine with me. I am also looking at going to Curves today. I need to start working on losing weight, but the problem is getting my butt back in gear to do that. I want to lose weight and feel great. It is so important to me to look and feel normal again.
I have a large goal of losing over 100 lbs this year. Which is a safe goal because it is about 2 lbs a week. I just have to keep myself motivated so that I will finally achieve my goals.
My weight has held me back in so many things! I wanted to be a Tupperware Consultant, and I have a mental block that no one wants to have a party with me because I am fat. I have found that I let others run me over because I will not stick up for myself because of my weight. I am so unhappy. It has caused me to develop Sleep Apnea. I also have found that I just feel I am no one and I don't matter because of my weight. It is terrible to feel this way.
I want to be happy again, I miss being happy. I want to feel confident again, but I have not felt that way in a long time. I want to shop at a normal store, and not have to buy my clothes from special stores any more. I want to feel that I am not worthless, that people are not staring at me because I am fat. I want to feel like I am beautiful again. I want to feel that people are not making fun of me.
I also know that if I want to have any more children I need to lose weight. My body can not handle any more weight, I need to lose weight before thinking about having more children.
I need to stay motivated I need to work hard. I know that I can do it, I need to do it so I can feel like myself again, like I deserve to be alive.
I did my Jillian Michaels workout today and it was a great workout. I found a workout group on Spark People and I joined the team and started today, one day off from the rest so that is fine with me. I am also looking at going to Curves today. I need to start working on losing weight, but the problem is getting my butt back in gear to do that. I want to lose weight and feel great. It is so important to me to look and feel normal again.
I have a large goal of losing over 100 lbs this year. Which is a safe goal because it is about 2 lbs a week. I just have to keep myself motivated so that I will finally achieve my goals.
My weight has held me back in so many things! I wanted to be a Tupperware Consultant, and I have a mental block that no one wants to have a party with me because I am fat. I have found that I let others run me over because I will not stick up for myself because of my weight. I am so unhappy. It has caused me to develop Sleep Apnea. I also have found that I just feel I am no one and I don't matter because of my weight. It is terrible to feel this way.
I want to be happy again, I miss being happy. I want to feel confident again, but I have not felt that way in a long time. I want to shop at a normal store, and not have to buy my clothes from special stores any more. I want to feel that I am not worthless, that people are not staring at me because I am fat. I want to feel like I am beautiful again. I want to feel that people are not making fun of me.
I also know that if I want to have any more children I need to lose weight. My body can not handle any more weight, I need to lose weight before thinking about having more children.
I need to stay motivated I need to work hard. I know that I can do it, I need to do it so I can feel like myself again, like I deserve to be alive.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Wonderful little blessings in a day
It has been such a great day today. I am very thankful for the fact that it was nice enough outside that Ty and I got go outside and clean up the yard, and play for a little while.
I also talked to Brian about getting the Magic Bullet. I have 2 have 2 surgeries, and I have goals set to lose weight, so I am going to be going to start concentrating on eating healthier. I made a delicious smoothie today, so that was so worth the purchase.
I have a clean living room, that feels so welcoming to me. It has been such a long time since I have had a clean room that is inviting and warm. The toys are picked up and I am getting ready to sit down and watch Desperate Housewives before going to bed.
I have had such a great day, and I am so thankful that I am able to start off my week this way. I am planning on going to Curves tomorrow, which is going to kick off my work outs, and get myself back on track with that. I am very excited to go to curves again.
I have a good friend that works out at Ballys and I am also looking at joining there, I think both is going to be a good combination to get me moving. I am planning on going to Ballys tomorrow to get more information.
I am looking forward to more wonderful days like this
I also talked to Brian about getting the Magic Bullet. I have 2 have 2 surgeries, and I have goals set to lose weight, so I am going to be going to start concentrating on eating healthier. I made a delicious smoothie today, so that was so worth the purchase.
I have a clean living room, that feels so welcoming to me. It has been such a long time since I have had a clean room that is inviting and warm. The toys are picked up and I am getting ready to sit down and watch Desperate Housewives before going to bed.
I have had such a great day, and I am so thankful that I am able to start off my week this way. I am planning on going to Curves tomorrow, which is going to kick off my work outs, and get myself back on track with that. I am very excited to go to curves again.
I have a good friend that works out at Ballys and I am also looking at joining there, I think both is going to be a good combination to get me moving. I am planning on going to Ballys tomorrow to get more information.
I am looking forward to more wonderful days like this
Saturday, January 3, 2009
New Years Resolution
The other day I got a phone call from a friend. She was concerned because she heard of a house fire on my mother's street. Luckily it was far enough away from my mother's house that I did not have to worry about something happening to my parents home.
When I got home and saw the fire on the news, I was sad for the family. They were a young family, and their oldest daughter had a 3 month old child. I know that one of my biggest fears that I have is the fact that I want to teach my children the value of waiting until they are married before having sex. I hate seeing that there are so many young people that are in the news that are having babies.
I was also sad because I knew that this family was renting the house so they had to start over. They said that they do not have renters insurance, which is so important, because they have to start over. With the economy the way that it is it is difficult to get things going and started, and they have a long road ahead of them.
In my every day life I have noticed that I am longing for so many different material possessions, they are possessions that we would all love to have. A larger home, better things. After hearing stories like that, I have started thinking that maybe I just need to start focusing on what I have. Being grateful that we have a house. Our children have plenty of clothes and toys and food to eat. We have 2 cars that run just fine. We are blessed, God has given us so much.
Being blessed in the material possessions is wonderful, we are not hurting for anything. Now I am longing to be blessed with the love, with the feeling of self worth. Finding the blessing that I am a special child of God and God has a wonderful plan for me. I want to be someone that has a pure heart. I want to live out his beatitudes.
I have decided that my New Years Resolution is to find the beatitudes that are out there, and find a way that I can start to simply incorporate them into my daily life with simple, small changes.
When I got home and saw the fire on the news, I was sad for the family. They were a young family, and their oldest daughter had a 3 month old child. I know that one of my biggest fears that I have is the fact that I want to teach my children the value of waiting until they are married before having sex. I hate seeing that there are so many young people that are in the news that are having babies.
I was also sad because I knew that this family was renting the house so they had to start over. They said that they do not have renters insurance, which is so important, because they have to start over. With the economy the way that it is it is difficult to get things going and started, and they have a long road ahead of them.
In my every day life I have noticed that I am longing for so many different material possessions, they are possessions that we would all love to have. A larger home, better things. After hearing stories like that, I have started thinking that maybe I just need to start focusing on what I have. Being grateful that we have a house. Our children have plenty of clothes and toys and food to eat. We have 2 cars that run just fine. We are blessed, God has given us so much.
Being blessed in the material possessions is wonderful, we are not hurting for anything. Now I am longing to be blessed with the love, with the feeling of self worth. Finding the blessing that I am a special child of God and God has a wonderful plan for me. I want to be someone that has a pure heart. I want to live out his beatitudes.
I have decided that my New Years Resolution is to find the beatitudes that are out there, and find a way that I can start to simply incorporate them into my daily life with simple, small changes.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Good By Christmas Things
I love Christmas time, however, I can only take so much of my house being out of sorts. Toys everywhere, which I am so grateful that my children are fortunate for receiving, however, now I have the task of finding everything a home.
Tonight I took everything down. I still have to put all of my pictures up and my things back up, but I have my little trinkets out, but other than that I have everything back to the way that I want it.
Christmas is such a wonderful time of the year, however, I have found that it has lost some of its meaning for me lately. I feel that I am constantly having to run here or there, and the pressure of making sure that everyone is happy is becoming more and more difficult. I want to love the holiday, to see what a wonderful time of year it is again, instead of stress, craziness and crabbiness.
To help put the focus back on the wonderful gift of giving I am setting a goal for myself of going through all of the toys that the boys no longer play with and put them together and give them away. I want the boys to come with me and see what it feels like to help other people.
Tonight I took everything down. I still have to put all of my pictures up and my things back up, but I have my little trinkets out, but other than that I have everything back to the way that I want it.
Christmas is such a wonderful time of the year, however, I have found that it has lost some of its meaning for me lately. I feel that I am constantly having to run here or there, and the pressure of making sure that everyone is happy is becoming more and more difficult. I want to love the holiday, to see what a wonderful time of year it is again, instead of stress, craziness and crabbiness.
To help put the focus back on the wonderful gift of giving I am setting a goal for myself of going through all of the toys that the boys no longer play with and put them together and give them away. I want the boys to come with me and see what it feels like to help other people.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Welcome 2009
As I am sure that so many others are, they are blogging about 2008 and the good and bad, I am going to do the same. 2008 was a good and a bad year at the same time. Looking back, I would say that over all, I am so glad that it is gone.
The Bad - Glad to see it go!
Gas prices soared, making things really tight around here. We did not do much because we just did not want to have to pay for gas.
I found out the hard way that people who I thought were my friends, really were not my friends
I gained over 40 lbs.
I was diagnosed with PCOS
I found out that I am going to have to go in for 2 surgeries one in January and the other in April.
I was in a head on car accident, everything is ok
The Good
Tyler started Preschool, and loves it. He is doing so well
Nathan turned 1 and is such a big boy
My beautiful Niece was born
My beautiful cousin was born
Tyler finally potty trained, and it was easy
Brian started being able to work from home, saving money on gas
I got to spend some more time with some of my friends who have lost touch with
I joined the PECPTA, and met some new friends
I look forward to 2009, I know that I have learned so much about myself. I have a lot of different things that I need to work on. I am going in for my first surgery on the 16. I know that I want to focus on my children more this year, but most importantly I am going to am going to focus on myself, finding myself and finally losing the weight, feeling better about myself, and knowing that I am not a bad person.
Welcome 2009!
The Bad - Glad to see it go!
Gas prices soared, making things really tight around here. We did not do much because we just did not want to have to pay for gas.
I found out the hard way that people who I thought were my friends, really were not my friends
I gained over 40 lbs.
I was diagnosed with PCOS
I found out that I am going to have to go in for 2 surgeries one in January and the other in April.
I was in a head on car accident, everything is ok
The Good
Tyler started Preschool, and loves it. He is doing so well
Nathan turned 1 and is such a big boy
My beautiful Niece was born
My beautiful cousin was born
Tyler finally potty trained, and it was easy
Brian started being able to work from home, saving money on gas
I got to spend some more time with some of my friends who have lost touch with
I joined the PECPTA, and met some new friends
I look forward to 2009, I know that I have learned so much about myself. I have a lot of different things that I need to work on. I am going in for my first surgery on the 16. I know that I want to focus on my children more this year, but most importantly I am going to am going to focus on myself, finding myself and finally losing the weight, feeling better about myself, and knowing that I am not a bad person.
Welcome 2009!
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