Learning To Deal

This past weekend I had an experience that I never thought I would have. My DH and I traveled to Toledo to visit his grandmother who is in Hospice. Walking in the doors, I was amazed how calming the building felt. The walls were beautiful. The paintings on the walls were perfect. As we walked down to her room, you felt a calmness.

Walking in for the first time, looking around and seeing everything was eye opening. For me watching her lay there in pain, not able to rest was so difficult. I did the only thing that I felt I could do, sit and hold her hand and start quietly in my head saying prayers. I moved from the Lord's Prayer and then on to the Hail Mary.

In between these prayers that I have been taught, I just asked for Jesus to be with her, to guide her and to help her during these times. I though of my favorite prayer, Footprints, and praying during this difficult time before death, that Jesus was carrying Grandma, helping her through the end of her suffering.

I had comfort when the nurses and the STNA's said that everything that was happening was all normal and part of the stages of death. It was a comfort, but still not easy to watch. I wanted to take her pain and let her be peaceful.

We are still waiting as of today, waiting to hear what was going to happen next. I pray for her to be comfortable, and that she is able to be welcomed into the glory of heaven. While I know that we will miss her and mourn for her, I will be comforted knowing that she is in the promised land with Jesus.