One door closes, another will open...

I have been struggling alot lately.  With what I am doing and why.  I have found that something has been missing in my life.  I had no clue what.  I have a beautiful family:

 

Two wonderful kids that make me so proud.  My husband had to take on a lot so that I could stay at home and raise our wonderful boys.  But I still felt that I was missing something in my life.

I joined a moms club thinking that would help, and it did for a while, and then I found myself being run over by others.  I would do anything for anyone.  I wanted to make other people happy and have them like me.  But I found out something very interesting...  It did not matter, two short years later, they are no longer part of my life.  I found myself back at square one.

Everything happens for a reason.  The experience I had with the moms club I learned that I am much stronger that I ever imagined.  I learned that people won't like you for giving in, that they will respect you for being yourself.  What an important lesson to learn.

I felt that all the doors around me were closed and there were no windows.  So I started to pray.  I prayed a novena.  I prayed every day.  I for the first time in my life, not only made time for God, and not just a little time, but in many cases I found a way to thank him for every little things I did, from doing laundry to eating a healthy meal.  Putting God first started to change my life.  It improved my life.  It made a difference in my life.

Now I am happier than I have ever been, or could ever be.  I found a new group that I am excited to join.  I can start over again with a clean slate.  The difference this time... I will be myself.  I will have fun.  I will get to know everyone.  I found a job.  A job that I love.  I am still able to stay at home and raise my children,  but now I can make some money.

I could not ask for anything more.  I am happier in my life now than I have ever been.  I know that by finally realizing that I need to put God first in all that I do that I will make a difference in my life.  A difference that is just going to help me grow.  I know that some days are going to be rough, but I also know that I can over come it and I will make a difference

Another Door Will always open

I have been struggling alot lately, between my PPD and everything that blew up with my chapter of MOMS club and the women that I thought were my friends.  I had alot of very difficult months.  I did not know if I was going to make it out.  I was badly bruised, and hurting.

I have learned alot about myself from this experience. 

• I have learned that you can try to be what others want you to be, but in the end it will show that you are not being yourself. 
• I have learned that it does not matter if you continue to give to others that they will not respect you in the end.  You can not keep giving, because they will just run you over and not care.
• Be yourself.  People will either like you or not like you for who you are and it does not matter.  Be true to yourself.
• Make decision that will make you happy.  Don't worry about what other think, because in the end it does not matter anyways.
• Be true to your faith.  Be proud.  People don't have to join you, but you don't have to join them either.

I am still healing and some cuts are very deep and will need time to heal.  But I have picked up most of the pieces and I am ready to start over again.

I am looking forward to what the future holds.  It can only get better and brighter.  I know that my life will only get better from here

Saying goodbye

One of my friend's Aunt passed away today.  Last week she passed out at work.  They found she had an aneyrsm in her brain.  They knew they had to do surgery to try to stop the bleeding.  But in surgery they could not fix the problem.  Now they had to clamp off the artery.  She went into a coma and never woke up.  She died while donating her organs so that others could live.

I remember when I was growing up over the summer going with my friend to stay at her house for a week.  I had so much fun there.  We went swimming.  We took a walk to get ice cream.  She welcomed me into her house.  What a generous person.  She treated me like I was her child. 

She is going to be missed. 

This brough up alot of different feelings in my life.  My grandmother passed away when I was 5 of the same thing.  She had a Brain Aneyrsm.  I don't remember much of her.  I also have been told stories of my aunt who died at the age of 17 of the same thing.  My father was the one who carried her down out of her bed so that the ambliance could take her to the hospital. 

How do you say goodbye?  God gives us so many different blessings, one is to touch the lifes of others.  One is to be touched.  My life is better because they have touched me.

Nothing better

One of my favorite times of the day is the mornings.  Having such a specilal times with my kids.  They love to cuddle with me and hug and kiss me.  There is nothing more special than take the time to spend with the kids.  Not worrying about anything else that needs to be done for the day.

There is nothing more important than taking that time with kids.  I love having this time.

Prayers

I have been praying the Rosary Novena for myself the past 9 days.  I am doing the 54 day Novena.  I have found out that a friend's Aunt had to go in for brain surgery.  This has all happened over the past 2 or 3 days.  She is in a coma currently so I have decided that from now until God's plan for her is revelaed that I am going to continue with my novena and dedicate it to her. 

I remember as a young teen going with my friend to spend some time at her aunt's house.  I think that we were there for a week.  I had so much fun.  Her Aunt is one of the most generous people that I have ever met.  We walked up to an ice cream store.  I still remember having fun with her. 

I pray for her to recover.  I pray that this coma is just what her body needs to heal.   I pray for her children and husband that they will find peace and understanding.  I pray for her whole family that they will find that during this time that Jesus is there holding them.  I pray for God to heal her and to be with her during this difficult time.

Playing together

I love watching my children play together.  It is amazing how each passing day they interact more and more.  I love watching them together.

I have to laugh because Tyler is always trying to get Nathan to laugh.  For the most part he plays so well with is brother.  It is a great feeling.  They love each other.

I know that they say imitation is the best form of flattery, well if that is the case, Nathan takes the cake.  When Tyler is tired he will sit down and rub his nipples, or play with is belly button.  He does it while he is drinking. 

Now Nathan picks up his up and is doing the same thing.  How cute. 

I love watching them play together

Novena

I have not posted updates from me doing my novena.  But I am doing well so far.  I am proud of myself.  I have made time every day to say my rosary.  I feel great.  I am so glad I decided to start doing this.